Treacherous
by averileen
Summary: He can tell that she's guilt-ridden; the death of Isshin has taken its toll on everyone, and it's been especially harsh on Ichigo and her. But she cannot continue to live like this (or: Rukia comes back to Karakura months after the war). Written for Ichiruki Month 2019. Canon Divergence.
1. ghosts

**Summary:** he can tell that she's guilt-ridden; the death of Isshin has taken its toll on everyone, and it's been especially harsh on Ichigo and her. But she cannot continue to live like this. Written for Ichiruki Month 2019 day 3: haunted. Canon Divergence. [1/5]

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Ghosts of him follow her everywhere she goes.

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Sometimes, Renji thinks he can see traces of Ichigo reflected in her eyes.

Nowadays, her eyes always seem to be searching for something that he can never quite see.

But there are moments when her eyes aren't just blank stares and faraway looks. Moments when the colour orange reminds her of a certain someone's totally-not-dyed hair. Or when the rain makes her recall of a different place in a different time.

Moments when her eyes tell a thousand stories that he will never comprehend.

And as they're standing there, in front of Ichigo's school, Renji knows this is one of those moments. So he asks, _why haven't you seen him?_

There's a long pause, he watches, as she's slowly coming back to her senses, the sadness melting into anger as if she's berating herself for having done the unthinkable. Then her eyes are back to nothing but ice and cold empty amethysts.

_The Hollow's that way _is her only reply, and he can't help but to feel like he just dug into a memory that's best remain forgotten.

(Obviously he did, and he didn't like what he see)

(Their mission doesn't feel so important anymore)

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Byakuya is positive he can hear hints of the brat's influence on his little sister.

He never brings it up, and she doesn't show it outwardly. But still, here and there, he hears it.

It's in the barest frown of her mouth, the slightest resistance in her voice, that gives it all away. And he welcomes the change, if not for the new way she talks about that troublemaker.

Rukia talks about that punk as if it's all her fault. As if she's the reason why Ichigo got into all this mess and lost so many. As if the subject of Kurosaki is a matter so delicate that it might break like glass or melt away like snow.

He can tell that she's guilt-ridden; the death of Isshin has taken its toll on everyone, and it's been especially harsh on Ichigo and her. But she cannot continue to live like this.

_You are going to be stationed in Karakura for a little longer, _he orders_. It's best if you get a Gigai._

_Nii-sama, but-_

_It's a direct order from Soutaichou, Rukia, _he retorts. She nods, keeping her head low, and he can only hope that it's a good enough reason to convince her.

(He also hopes that she would never find out that it was him who suggested her to Shunsui)

_._

_._

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Rangiku smells the faint scent of Ichigo on her.

Or on her things.

In Urahara's storage room lies Rukia's Gigai, amongst other shenanigans. There are toy rabbits and bunny dolls, dresses and school uniforms. Somewhere underneath, tucked away neatly, are torn tickets for shows, ice skating and the likes.

They smell like oranges.

_You didn't have to come with me, Matsumoto-san._

Rangiku blinks_. Ah, but this is the only place that Hitsugaya won't look into!_

Rukia doesn't pry; she only smiles knowingly. They go on to prepare her Gigai in silence until the older girl speaks again; _will you be staying at the Kurosaki's household, Kuchiki-san?_

Rukia's eyes widen.

_Ah, worry not Kuchiki-san! I knew you'd forget about him, it's a fact that preparing for a mission can be very stressful. That's why I have taken it up upon myself to call him for you!_

And then she goes back to work so nonchalantly as if nothing ever happened, leaving the other poor girl alone to deal with her emotions.

(But Rangiku's aware of what she did)

(She just doesn't want Rukia to repeat her mistake of being a little too late)

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These days, Rukia dreams about his ghosts.

They haunt every step that she takes and accompany her to sleep. They terrorise her in her nightmares.

Her memories of blue skies and peaceful school days are tainted with blood and wars. With a lifeless body, hazel eyes staring back at her. When she wakes up screaming, she doesn't question her dreams. Because she knows what she's done, and she might as well killed him.

_How dare she_, the ghosts mock as she stands waiting in front of his house. She catches her reflection, and she wishes Rangiku hasn't done more than a decent job on her Gigai. Her cheeks are tinted with blush, and her eyelashes cast long shadows on them. The maroon dress on her brings out her painted red lips.

When the door starts to open, it creaks oh so painfully slow, and for a second she forgets how to breath.

(She wonders if he knows about the ghosts in her dreams)

(Of course he does. After all, ghosts of her follow him everywhere he goes)

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**Author's Note:** at the end of Bleach, Kubo never showed Isshin, so I kind of just assumed that he's dead lol.

Anyway, this chapter focuses on Rukia's life after the war, and the next one would focus on Ichigo's. There are 4 chapters in total, and I would upload the remaining 3 per week.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

(Also Byakuya lowkey shipping ichiruki? We stan)


	2. colours

**Summary:** Rukia comes back to Karakura months after the war. Written for Ichiruki Month 2019 day 14: your choice. Canon Divergence. [2/5]

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Before her, his life was colourless.

It seems that Isshin's death made him lose his ability to see colours.

He could see grey, and he saw it every time it rains outside. Or on a gloomy day that reminded him of the day they buried his father.

But never purple. Purple, like the rich violet of her pupils. Purple, like the colour of lavenders, the smell of her scent.

Then, there's her.

She happened. She came back. She's here, right now, standing in front of him. And all at once he can see it. The rosy colour of her cheeks. The blood red paint on her lips. The dark lilac of her eyes.

His sisters have to invite her in because suddenly everything is overwhelming to him. He says _hey _and she replies with another _hey _before they have to sit down for dinner.

They stay quiet as his sisters prepare dinner. She insists on helping with the meal, of course she does, but his sisters wouldn't let her. She's about to make a second attempt when he speaks _just stay in your seat, Rukia_.

_I see your attitude is as bad as ever, Ichigo._

He snarls, and for a second, the tension goes away. He needs to say something now before she makes another excuse to get away. Before it gets too uncomfortable between them again.

_You should visit the school tomorrow. _

Rukia looks up from the dining table, stunned. Then she starts, sternly, _Ichigo, I have a mission._

_Inoe, Ishida, Chad. Everyone misses you. _He leaves himself out on purpose. _It's either you visit them or they visit you here, Rukia. And I'm sure you won't miss anything if you take a day off._

He expects her to retaliate, but she doesn't. He guesses she misses them too much to call the bullshit on his bluff.

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Ishida hates the colour green.

Green, like the colour of the hospital room his mother was in before she died. Green, like the colour of Ichigo's staff uniform that he's wearing now.

He knows that Ichigo has to work to support his sisters somehow, and it makes sense for the idiot to work at his dad's hospital, considering how he wants to get into medical school and all. But that doesn't make him hate the colour any less.

_Surprise!_

Rukia looks completely lost until Inoe explains, _today is our graduation day, Kuchiki-san! And you're graduating with us!_

_But Ichigo's not wearing his school uniform! _

Ichigo brushes her off._ I have work after school. It's too much of hassle to change clothes. _It's true. He's been coming to work everyday right after school ends. Sometimes, until very late. _Besides, no one's gonna deny me my high school diploma just because I'm not wearing the school uniform._

Also very true. No one wants to pick a fight with this punk.

Ishida sneers. Of course Ichigo would be idiotic enough to graduate in his work uniform. He's the same idiot who hasn't let anyone sit in Rukia's table in class or her spot on the rooftop after all.

_It's nice having you here, Kuchiki-san. Everyone missed you_, he says when he finally has the chance to speak with Rukia. _But he missed you the most._

Rukia laughs it off._ I don't think he feels that way. We haven't even spoken much since yesterday._

_I'm sure he's just nervous. He hasn't seen you in months, Kuchiki-san. _When Rukia still doesn't buy it, Ishida continues._ Did you know he always buys two drinks from the vending machine? One for him, and another, a juice box, "just because he feels like it."_

Ishida waits for Rukia to respose, but she doesn't. Ichigo, on the other hand, has been glaring at him this whole time. The brat knows they're talking about him.

_My time's up, _he says, shrugging. _Oh, and Kuchiki-san? Let me know if you need a new dress. _Rukia's tiny, it's easy to make a dress for her. Maybe, if she lets him, he can use her dress for his design school applications.

Ishida wonders if it's too late to apply to Paris.

_._

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Orihime used to like the colour orange. Orange, like the colour of his hair and hers. Orange, the colour that binds her to him.

It all changed after her confession. The plan was perfect; she'd confess to him on the school rooftop, facing the sunset. The setting sun made his hair burn brightly, the golden colour of the fading orb reflected in his eyes. The shades of orange took Orihime's breath away.

But then he rejected her, and suddenly, she found herself not so fond of the said colour anymore. She guesses she's always known his answer though. He prefers violet.

_I'll be leaving for Paris in a month for culinary school, Kuchiki-san._

Rukia's eyes widen. _So suddenly?_

_I've received my acceptance letter for a while now._ After he turned her down, she went straight home and applied to study abroad. _I planned on rejecting the offer when things weren't getting any better with Kurosaki-kun. Maybe, if I were around, I could help out..._

_But then you came back._

Orihime watches Rukia as she gets slowly flustered. She begins, _Inoe, I'm not going to be here for long._

_You'll visit right?_

At that, the other girl can only nod. Orihime thinks this is enough. She can't never make him feel the way he feels towards Rukia, but at least she can do this.

Besides, she has decided to move on and let go of the past.

Now, she has Paris waiting for her.

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Rukia has never seen a cherry blossom more pink.

And she has seen plenty of cherry blossoms in her lifetime. Her nii-sama's zanpakuto, Zenbonsakura, being one of them. But they always remind her of falling snow, lifeless and cold like a Kuchiki.

This cherry blossom is different. It's gentle and light and warm like spring. She recalls all the shoujo manga she has read and how the confession scenes have never failed to take place under this tree.

Those manga are the very same shoujo manga that she found neatly stacked in his drawer yesterday. The shoujo manga that she found lying besides hundreds of her Chappie drawings.

It was an accident; she didn't mean to intrude. Ichigo was in the shower, and Karin needed something urgent from his bedroom. She tried to decline the younger girl at first, but then her twin sister joined in and said _if it's Rukia-nee, he'll let you go easily!_

Rukia wasn't convinced the slightest. Still, in the end, she gave in.

And what she found in his room, she doesn't know what to think of them. She's not sure if she wants to.

The strong breeze brings Rukia back to the present. Ichigo still hasn't moved an inch from where he's standing. On the way home from school, he has insisted on taking a detour to see the cherry blossoms. And here they are.

_Chad's going to open a Mexican restaurant_, Ichigo starts. He points to an empty building across the street. _Right there_.

Rukia beams. _That's great! I can't wait to try-_ She stops herself and curses inwardly. She can't make any promises. She should know this better than anyone.

But the damage has been done. Ichigo is no longer facing the building. He stares ahead at her.

He has changed, Rukia realises. He's more mature now, different from the boy she met all those years ago. Was it because of his father's death? Or did the wars cause this?

Maybe it was her.

_How long will you be here, Rukia?_

He should've known the answer. _Depends on my mission._

He nods as cherry blossom petals swirl around him._ Alright. Sunday then._

_Sunday what? _

She tries to read his expression, desperately trying to decipher him. She can't. He has always been an open book. Since when did he stop being one?

_Go on a date with me._

_._

**Author's Note:** so, I lied.

I know how I said there would be 4 chapters. But as I wrote chapter 4, it felt a bit rushed to end it there. So, you guys would be getting 1 extra chapter (I'll release 2 chapters in week 4).

Anyway, thanks for reading. It means a lot me :)


	3. sirens

**Summary:** She said yes because today's date is nothing but a distraction. A welcomed one. It's easy for anyone to forget about anything when they're faced with Ferris wheels and cotton candies and teddy bears. But after today, everything will go back to the way it was. To the way it has always been (or: Rukia goes on a date with Ichigo). Written for Ichiruki Month 2019 day 21: your choice. Canon Divergence. [3/5]

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It's no secret that Karin's big brother is in love with Rukia.

Whether it is reciprocated or not, that's the question. Karin has always suspected that Rukia returns his feelings, but she never had any evidence or whatsoever...

Until today.

Her suspicion is confirmed when Rukia comes home from school, looking both completely dazed and flustered.

_Ah_, she thinks. Her idiot of a brother must've finally confessed.

Or something along the lines of that.

When she sees the poor girl tossing in her sleep that night, clearly restless, it just further confirms it. Rukia must've really cared about Ichigo so much for her to be acting like this.

_It's my moronic brother, isn't?_

In an instant, Rukia's awake. Karin can feel the older girl's body tensing up as she slowly opens her eyes and sits up. From her side of the bed, Yuzu stares at her questioningly.

Karin flashes Rukia a grin. _I guess my hunch is right._

Rukia frowns disapprovingly. Karin feels bad for her, she truly does. And she doesn't mean to be nosy when she asks _so, what did he do? _It's just she can't help her unless she knows the issue.

Rukia's voice is barely a whisper. _Ichigo asked me to go the amusement park with him this Sunday._

Yuzu gasps_. Is it a date? Are you going to say yes, Rukia-nee?_

Her Rukia-nee smiles. _I don't think Ichigo knows what he's talking about_.

_You're wrong Rukia-nee!_ Yuzu's gaze is determined. She looks as if she's trying to knock some sense into Rukia. _I've never seen Ichi-nii happier than these past couple of days!_

Karin usually disagrees with her sister, but this time, she can't deny that the girl is right.

_Ever since dad died, Ichi-nii's been busy doing, well, everything_, says Karin. _But he doesn't need to. We're not kids anymore, we can take care of ourselves. And he can't replace dad. He's not dad._

The room is so quiet as everyone awaits her to finish her words. This happens every time she brings up her dad.

_These days though, he stops playing dad. _Rukia is visibly holding her breath while Yuzu motions her to go on. _He is himself again when you're around, Rukia-nee._

_So, please Rukia-nee? Will you go on a date with Ichi-nii?_

Karin glares at Yuzu. Ever the romantic. Rukia is too good for her idiotic brother. For all she knows, the older girl might already have a boyfriend.

(But she lets Yuzu have her way because she can tell that Ichigo really likes Rukia).

(And maybe, as much as she hates to admit it, she loves her brother and wants him to be happy).

_Alright._

_._

_._

_._

Tatsuki has always known that Ichigo has a crush on Rukia.

Everyone knows.

But she never thought it'd be serious enough for him to ask the girl out on a date.

_Do you guys wanna see the outfits that I picked for Rukia-nee's date?_

Tatsuki curses inwardly. Beside her, Orihime nods her head. Of course she'll say yes; her friend's too polite to refuse the offer. Together they follow Ichigo's sister into the shop.

In some way, she guesses it's her fault; she was the one who invited Orihime to hangout with her after all. If only she never asked her to come to the mall, they would've never ran into the trio who are shopping for Rukia's date tomorrow.

Rukia looks so uncomfortable being the centre of attention, but she doesn't protest. She goes in and out of changing rooms with whatever clothes Yuzu has chosen for her and laughs at the comments Karin makes of Yuzu's poor taste in fashion.

They get along well, Rukia and Ichigo's sisters. It's no wonder Ichigo really likes her.

As for Rukia, well, she can't for the life of her figure out why the girl agreed to go on a date with him.

Rukia comes and goes. She was gone for 17 months, and again after Isshin's death. She doesn't keep in touch. To her, it seems obvious that Rukia doesn't care about Ichigo at all.

So she says, _it should've been you. Ichigo should've asked you out_. _For all the things that you've done, you deserve a happy ending, Orihime._

Orihime shakes her head. To Tatsuki's surprise, she replies, _anything that Kuchiki-san has done, she has done it for Kurosaki-kun. If anyone deserves a happy ending, it's her._

Tatsuki wants to retaliate, but Rukia's latest dress distracts her. It's the colour of pure white snow. Yuzu goes wild upon seeing her Rukia-nee in that dress. Even Karin has nothing but good things to say about it.

_She's nervous_, Orihime points out.

Tatsuki squints. She sees no sign of Rukia losing her composure; the girl has always been calm and collected. Maybe Orihime can see what she can't. She has been watching Ichigo watching Rukia after all.

(Though deep inside, Tatsuki knows that if only she looks closely enough, she'll see the faintest blush on Rukia's cheeks).

(Maybe she's just seeing what she wants to see).

_I can't wait to see Ichi-nii's reaction when he sees you in that dress!_

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Ichigo doesn't have feelings for her.

Or if he has, he will soon move on.

She said yes because today's date is nothing but a distraction. A welcomed one. It's easy for anyone to forget about anything when they're faced with Ferris wheels and cotton candies and teddy bears. But after today, everything will go back to the way it was. To the way it has always been.

The sound of children laughing reverberates through the street. The smell of sweets makes her stomach grumble. Rukia just had caramel churros and a sakura mochi not so long ago. Still, she wants more.

Earlier, Ichigo said she can have anything that she wants today. Rukia finds it weird at first, Ichigo is a cheap ass after all. In the end, she just shrugs it off. It doesn't matter anyway; she can't just eat everything that she desires. Rukia needs to be mindful of her white dress. There can't be stains on it if they're going return it once she gets back to Soul Society.

Rukia notices that Ichigo has been staring at the Ferris wheel for a while and suggests for them to get on it. Right after she said it, she realises her mistake; they should not be in a small space alone.

They make their way into their car and it sways a little. That surprises her a little bit; she can't imagine this fragile thing holding both of their weights. But she soon forgets all about it once they reach the top of the Ferris wheel.

From up above, the fairy lights illuminating the park looks magical. Rukia can make out the colourful balloons and tents scattered all over the showground and they give her wonders. She presses her face to the window of their car. The whole view below just makes her feel like she's in a fairy tale.

Across her seat, Ichigo snorts.

_Calm down, Rukia. You're gonna break the glass if you keep on leaning like that._

Rukia backs away from the window in an instant. Upon seeing her reaction, Ichigo bursts out laughing.

_Very funny, Ichigo._

She's about to ignore him when he finally stops laughing. Ichigo points at her dress_. Is that a new dress?_

Rukia is taken back by his question. She didn't think he'd notice. He didn't make any comment when he first saw her with this on back at home (Yuzu was shook), so why now?

_Yes, Karin and Yuzu got it for me._

_Oh._ He pauses and then averts his eyes. _You look good in it_.

_What's gotten into you?_ Rukia tries to play it cool, but her face feels hot. She needs to change the subject. _Ah_, she points down. _We're heading down. I wish we could've stayed longer._

Ichigo is quiet for a while, as if contemplating something. Then, he looks up and stares at her. The lights from the carnival make his hazel eyes glimmer like gold and she finds herself unable to look away.

_Then stay_, he says, not taking his eyes off hers. His face softens. _You can go on as many Ferris wheels as you'd like. Stay with me here in Karakura, Rukia._

For a split second, Rukia lets herself be dragged into his dream. She lets herself think about all the what ifs and what could've been. For one single moment, she lets the butterflies in her stomach roam free.

But then she realises what this would mean.

She would bring death to me. Just like how she brought death to his dad.

_How could you be so selfish, Ichigo_? Rukia feels her body trembling out of anger. She's frustrated at him. At herself. For allowing herself to be vulnerable enough. _What about me? My duty as a shinigami?_

Today has been a good day. She has laughed and joked and teased. And him, grumpy and idiotic as always. But he just has to ruin it, doesn't he? He just has to ruin the one memory that she intended to hold on to forever.

When their compartment finally reaches the ground, she leaves immediately. She doesn't look back.

(If she looks back, maybe she'll see the heartbroken look on his face).

(If she looks back, maybe he'll see how broken she is).

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**Author's Note:** I wanted to show Orihime's growth in this chapter. Also, I wanted to show you guys how the twins are doing after Isshin's death (they've been holding up great and they're being very mature about this!).

I hope you guys aren't too mad about how the date ended!

As always, thanks for reading. I've wanted to write this fic ever since the ending came out, so this entire process has been kind of healing for me lol (don't think I could ever move on if I've never written this...).


	4. dancing with our hands tied

**Summary:** Ichigo finally confesses to Rukia. Written for Ichiruki Month 2019 day 22: two slow dancers. Canon Divergence. [4/5]

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Rukia tells herself that this is okay.

She understands what the hell butterfly means. Her mission hasn't been fruitful anyway; she has spent her time in Karakura doing nothing but trivial things.

But even as she tells herself that, she still finds it hard to write a letter to Karin and Yuzu.

Another excuse, another lie. Her heart feels heavy. She doesn't even dare to look outside the twins' bedroom door and down the hall out of fear that he might catch her leave. He doesn't deserve to know, not after what he did, not after what he asked her to do. At least she knows that much.

So why does her heart ache so much?

Rukia forces herself to focus, finishes her letter, and opens the bedroom window. She needs to get a hold of herself. Whatever this is, she doesn't have time for this. She swings one of her legs out.

Outside, the night looks bleak and starless.

Soul Society is waiting for her.

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When she arrives, Byakuya doesn't greet her right away.

She waits for him in her office and gets to work immediately. Rukia wastes not time; she has work pilling up and she needs to catch up on them if she wants to attend the next Gotei 13 meeting. Besides, working lets her take her mind off things and have some peace.

Or she thought. Because all she feels is hollow.

By the time her brother calls for her, Rukia still isn't ready, but she gathers all her research materials from her Karakura mission and goes to meet him anyway.

_Still no findings?_

_Nothing, nii-sama_. Byakuya keeps his eyes on her reports. _Whatever problem that was there, it seems Ichigo's friends have successfully neutralised it_.

She excludes Ichigo on purpose. That boy hasn't been hunting Hollows ever since his dad's death. Which is understandable, between school and work, he barely even has the time to breath.

Or maybe, simply, he just doesn't want to be the very thing that killed his father.

_We should continue to monitor the situation. _

Rukia nods. That's the work of a low rank shinigami however, not a lieutenant's. She wonders what she would do after this. Administrative work would be good. It lets her lay low for awhile.

_And you are to be stationed in Karakura until any further development._

His words catches Rukia off guard. She is left speechless.

_All due respect nii-sama, but that's-_

_Direct order from Soutaichou, Rukia._

Rukia swallows her words. Her brain is still processing what Byakuya has just said. At last, she finally manages to say _yes, nii-sama_.

_And Rukia, it is still against the rules for a shinigami to meddle in human's affairs_, says Byakuya. He has his back to her as he begins to retreat back to his office.

_If you get caught_.

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Rukia returns to Karakura the next night.

She could've gone back earlier, but she chose not to; she needs time to come up with something to tell the twins. Surely they would be suspicious about her sudden reappearance. Rukia is still racking her brain for a story as she sneaks in through Ichigo's bedroom window.

She's been dreading this, this simple act of going through his bedroom. But she has to because she doesn't want to wake the twins up. And if her calculation is correct, Ichigo should be away doing his night shift at the hospital now. The boy usually doesn't get back until early dawn.

The door swings open as both of her feet touch the ground. Ichigo leans on the door frame, golden eyes staring back at her. In his hands, the letter she wrote to his sisters.

_Karin and Yuzu haven't read this_. He holds up the thin paper, his expression unreadable. _Why didn't you say anything?_

_Aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?_

_Damn it Rukia, don't change the subject. _Ichigo takes a step closer towards her. She can feel his temper rising. _Did you know?_ _After I found that I letter, I almost went after you. I was so ready to go back to Soul Society if it weren't for Matsumoto and your redhead friend._

He takes another step and Rukia frantically looks around the room to escape. It's useless, because all she can see are memories, nostalgia. Her old futon, the closet that she used to sleep in, her manga and drawings.

_You were saying nonsense_, she croaks in reply. That stops him in his tracks. _Why did you have to say such things, Ichigo?_

_You know why._ _God, are you really that dense, Rukia?_

Rukia keeps a straight face but her emotions are out of control. Her heart is beating rapidly against her chest. _Whatever it is you're implying, that's a crime. It's treason punishable by death, Ichigo._

_Only if you get caught._

Ichigo moves slowly across the side of his bed as she continues to stare at him in disbelief, dumbfounded. Rukia finds herself unable to think straight. A million things are running through her mind. How did he know? And what he said earlier, did he really mean it?

Idiot. Did he actually realise the impact of his words?

_Matsumoto and Renji told me about Byakuya's verdict_, he answers her question, as if he can read her mind._ I guess they don't want me causing ruckus in Soul Society while trying to bring you back._

He stops only when he reaches the edge of the bed, inches away from her. This up close she can see his features clearly; the hard lines of his jaw, the curve of his lips.

_You never said no_. Ichigo's tone is different now. Softer, more tender. _You keep throwing excuses, but you never said no, Rukia._

Rukia tells herself that it's not true, but deep inside, she knows that it is. She also knows the reason why, and it terrifies her. But this cannot be. She cannot, will not, let this be.

_You dad is dead because of me, Ichigo, _she says over the soft trickling noise of falling water droplets. It has begun to rain outside.

_How does that relate-_

_I made you a shinigami. Your dad would've never joined the war if only I never met you._

_My dad was a shinigami, my mom's a Quincy. I would've become a shinigami even if I never met you._ She can see the frustration building up inside him, the desperation in his voice. _I don't know how to get that through that thick head of yours._

Rukia avoids his gaze. She continues to stare ahead at nothing in particular.

_Rukia, look at me, _he pleads.

She can't. Not after what she has done to him.

Finally, Ichigo backs away. She can see different expressions flickering in his eyes, from confusion to shock to hurt. It's as if he doesn't know what to feel. But she pays him no attention. She remains stoic when she leaves him and walks away. She doesn't show any emotion as she packs up her stuff from the twins' room.

Only when she steps into the pouring rain does she show her true feelings.

Rukia stays in the rain for hours. She lets it wash over her, lets it mask her tears.

.

**Author's Note:** I kind of interpreted this prompt as in like they're both slow lol. Also, as in they're both dancing around each other. Thus, voila.

This chapter was supposed to be the last, but I split it into two because it was getting too long. Besides, by doing so, I can give you guys a double update ;)

Thanks for reading and do look forward to the final chapter next week!


	5. treacherous

**Summary:** Written for Ichiruki Month 2019 day 27: song lyrics. Canon Divergence. [5/5]

.

Rukia keeps herself busy these days.

She works full time at the local bookstore. On Sundays, she tells stories to children and gives them drawing lessons. Nights are reserved for her shinigami duties.

She needs her day job to pay for rent; she got her own place now, a tiny studio apartment overlooking a park. Rukia volunteers on Sunday because it lets her take her mind off things. She patrols at nights because it gives her an excuse to sleep less.

Rukia doesn't sleep whenever she can. Because in her dreams, she hears echoes of his voice. In her dreams, she hears the sound of her own voice, asking him to stay.

_How have you been holding up? _asks Renji. Both he and Rangiku are in Karakura now, visiting her new apartment with a housewarming gift. The two have been seeing her a lot lately. In fact, they were the ones who found this place for her.

Rukia stops pouring the tea. She was in the middle of serving them afternoon treats before she was so rudely interrupted. She looks up from the various red bean cakes on the table in front of her and stares at Renji.

_Everyone knows, Rukia. We've always known._ Beside him, Rangiku shoots him a look. She looks as if she's scorning him mentally. _Kuchiki-taichou even went as far as that to give his blessings._

_Why did you tell Ichigo?_ she has never dared to ask, but the question has always been in the back of her mind. It's always there, like an elephant in the room every time she sees the two shinigami. _Why did you tell him of nii-sama's verdict?_

This time, Rangiku steps in. _Because we know you won't listen to us before you hear it from him, Kuchiki-san._

_We wanted you to face your conflicts. We wanted you to confront them, _exclaims Renji. _You wouldn't be able to move on unless you do so._

Her living room feels so much smaller now. It suffocates her. Somewhere within her, she knows there is truth in their words.

_Kuchiki-san, we can help you, _begins Rangiku carefully, her voice sincere. It's weird seeing the ever so rowdy Rangiku like this. But, somehow, Rukia finds this side of Rangiku comforting. _Let us help you._

Can they? Can she hope? But hope is a dangerous thing. It betrays you. It's treacherous.

Rukia looks ahead at them, then at the gloves enveloping her hands; a gift from her brother. She has made him so worried. She has made everyone worried. Maybe, this is the least that she can do.

_I'm in your care then, Matsumoto-san_.

.

.

.

Months have passed.

The cherry blossom season is no more. The once cold air of spring feels hot and sticky. Summer is here.

Rukia doesn't work as much as she used to nowadays. She goes shopping with Rangiku and hits the arcade with Renji whenever they're in town. On her off days, she bakes cookies and cakes with Orihime.

In a week or so, Orihime would leave for Paris. The girl is having the time of her life now as she prepares for her departure. Chad's Mexican restaurant is going swimmingly as well; he's having everyone over once in a while for taste tests (Ichigo's never there - he's too busy studying for medical school exams). As for Ishida, well, the outcome of his design school application just came out; he got accepted.

It seems that everyone is moving forward except her. Rukia knows that's an understatement. After all, she's been doing better than she ever was. She goes to Soul Society for an intervention once a week, and it's been so helpful. Just last week, Byakuya sent her a basket of fruits to congratulate her on her progress.

Still, she can't shake off the feeling of being left behind.

_Rukia-nee! _Rukia looks around the grocery store, trying to find where the voice is coming from. Once she spots the bobbing pigtails, she breaks into a smile.

_Yuzu, It's nice to see you. How are you?_

_I'm great!_ Yuzu says cheerfully. Then she points a finger at Rukia accusingly. _But you! We haven't heard from you in ages! And how could you leave us without even saying goodbye, Rukia-nee!_

Rukia laughs at Yuzu's over-dramatic theatrics. _Sorry, I guess I've been busy. _

_Ichi-nii never tells us anything. Whenever we ask him about you, he makes up these lame excuses, _tells Karin, her ponytail swinging slightly as she approaches them slowly. _Why did you leave so suddenly, Rukia-nee? Did Ichi-nii do something stupid during the date?_

_No, it's nothing like that. _Rukia racks her brain for something to say. She hates lying to them. Then, she notices the groceries in Yuzu's shopping basket. _That's a lot of food for the three of you. Are you having people over for some kind of party?_

_Ah! _Yuzu claps her hands, her eyes lighting up. _We're having a farewell party for Ichi-nii! We were just about to invite you!_

_Ichi-nii's been accepted into Tokyo University. He'll start in fall, _explains Karin when she sees Rukia looking confused. _He wasn't planning on going at first. He even sprouted some nonsense like how he has to stay back to take care of us. _

Karin flashes Rukia a mischievous grin._ That's why we enrolled ourselves at a boarding school. _

They say their goodbyes and Rukia watches as the twins leave. Minutes passed and she hasn't moved an inch, still standing there in the middle of an aisle awkwardly. She forgets everything that's she's supposed to get.

Rukia wants to see him, even more now that he's leaving Karakura. But, is it okay for her do so? She lets go a sigh. Everyone is supporting and cheering for her. Why is it so hard for her to do the same for herself?

Finally, she makes her up her mind.

Nothing safe is worth the drive, she thinks.

.

.

.

Rukia rushes to get ready. She was reading Orihime's latest postcard from Paris and completely forgot about the time. When she saw Ishida's photo attached on the postcard, she was taken by surprise; Ishida never told them which university did he apply for, and they kind of just assumed it's one in Japan.

Ishida looks truly happy in the photo, and judging from Orihime's writing, she is too. Rukia rereads the card once more before she puts it inside the pocket of her jeans and heads out.

The chilly autumn breeze greets her as soon as she steps outside of her apartment. Rukia ties her scarf tighter around her neck.

As she makes her way to the station, her heart flutters and the butterflies in her stomach would not quiet down. She wishes they would leave her be. She needs some peace. Because, in an hour, she'd be standing in front of his doorsteps, ready for whatever that comes next.

There's not many people at the station, Rukia finds. She is able to get a seat on the platform bench relatively quickly. She pulls out a book from her backpack and is about to read it when she sees a familiar figure. It's one that she'd recognise anywhere.

Ichigo stands with his headphones on further back on the platform.

Rukia can't decide if it's a choice, but she feels herself getting swept away to him.

_Hey Ichigo._

_Oh, Rukia. Hey.._, he begins, his voice trailing off. He takes his headphones off and she wonders what was he listening to. _What are you doing here? _

_What, no formalities? Did you even miss me? _Rukia jokes, trying to put on an act. But he sees through her. He always has.

_I'm on my way to your farewell party, actually. _She plays with the loose thread on her oversized sweater so that she doesn't have to look at him_. _His sisters must've forgotten to tell him that she's coming.

Ichigo looks as if he's finally registering the whole thing._ Those two. _He runs his hand through his hair, frustration showing on his face._ Karin and Yuzu are away on a school field trip. The party's next week. _

_Sorry Rukia. I hope it's not too late for you to turn back home._

_No, it's alright. _Her heartbeat 'd be smart to walk away, but he's quicksand._ I'll stay._

Under the afternoon sun, Ichigo stands there like a deer in headlights. He stares at her, his hazel eyes unwavering. Rukia feels small in her boots when he looks at her like this.

_I'm doing better now_, she starts. It's true. She sleeps easier at night and she no longer blames herself for everything that has happened. _Then, I heard that you'll be leaving for university soon._

_I wanted to see you before you go._

_I have so many things I wanted to ask you_, begins Ichigo. The wind tousles his hair, making it look like a candlelight flickering. It burns bright against the setting sun. _How are you? What have you been doing? Where have you been?_

He steps closer towards her. _But, you said you wanted to see me, and it makes me wonder._

_Rukia, does it mean what I think it means?_

She has been so bold so far. Until now. Ichigo takes another step forward and it scrambles up her mind. Rukia is at loss for words. She doesn't know what to say or what to do. Her emotions are a mess.

_Say something, Rukia._ His gaze on her doesn't falter. _Anything._

_You're gonna miss your train, _she manages to croak.

He laughs that Ichigo laugh. That low, rumbling noise. _Anything but that,_ he says. Ichigo tugs a loose strand of hair behind her ear. _If you don't say something, I'll take it as a yes, Rukia._

Ichigo's hot breath tingles her skin. Colourful leaves are scattered everywhere around them. Rukia should think of an excuse, any excuse. There's no going back once she goes down this path. It's reckless.

He leans closer.

This slope is treacherous.

(She likes it).

.

**Author's Note:** First and foremost, big thanks to the people at ichirukimonth for hosting this event! I kept on procrastinating writing this fic until Ichiruki month came around. Also, thanks everyone for reading: I know it's been a roller coaster ride, so thanks for putting up with me!

Second, there's a reason why I made Isshin died. My problem with the ending of Bleach (aside from the whole RR and IH mess) is Ichigo staying back in the human world and not being in Gotei 13. I just think it's really OOC lol. It only makes sense if Isshin died. Then, Ichigo would have to stay back to take care of his sisters.

And Rukia finally realising her worth and loving herself? That's the greatest love story ever told tbh.


End file.
